The first chapter of Audubon’s Watch consists of a letter written by John James Audubon, to his daughters Lucy and Rose. He begins with the claim that “they” believe his mind is in ruins, and his mind dulled. He is bedridden, but demands the windows stay open to allow him to hear the rivermen as they pass. He laments that he cannot have found all the birds; he wants to join the rivermen, return to his travels.
What struck me most from this writing is obsession and regret; John James holds an obsession for finding all the birds of North America, to the point of leaving his young family behind for long stretches of time. As he lay in what we can assume to be his deathbed, he relays his regret– not that he did not spend enough time with his family– but that he could not have found all the birds. He doesn’t dislike his family– he recounts fond memories and his love for them, but his lifes’ work overshadows his domestic life.